Winter

Its a long time since I wrote anything. I just got the feedback form some of my friends for the story I wrote. Like I felt, it needs major re-writing.

Anyways, I have got a job for the time being (alas, its in the lab). But that has prevented me to write thesis. By the time I come back home and cook and eat, m too tired to do anything else (except of course, watch series). Watched The Practice, a series based on courtroom. Was nice. Felt some of the storylines/episodes were pathetic attempts to preach authors thinking to masses. Watching Bones now, it is OK for time kill.

Also, the winter is here in full force. It has been snowing like hell. The idea of walking to the college makes me sick. Couple of the pics (Blackberry rocks!!!) I took walking back from college. 

Miss going out with friends and having tea at local shop at 3 in night during cold winter nights. Miss being out of cash during month ends. Miss sitting in hostel canteen for hours, without purpose. Miss being cared for by room-mates. Miss having right to be angry on friends for minor things. Guys, the work life is over-rated. The only good thing is I am earning (well, for the time being atlest). 

After note: The dimples of Tamara Taylor, playing  Dr. Camille Saroyan in The bones are worth looking over and over again. 

Sad

Just got a call from Belgium. Have not been selected for the job. It is hard to digest failure.

After note: After initial shock (I have always thought of me as a SUPERMAN, who does not fail, when he wants to succeed), I have been able injest the news of rejection (still not sure, if ill be able to digest it though). Annoying part was that I already had made it clear about not having any experience with computers applications in initial telephonic interview, and the reason that they gave me for rejection was lack of experience with computer application. Although I do not like to swear usually, this has pushed me on the verge of swearing.

This failure has got the stubborn person out of me. Now its the time to get my boxing pairs out. Its fight. Play hard. Remembering Baxi's words (although later learned similar thing has been said in some movie). Life is like a boxing match. Its not how hard you can hit, but how much you can take makes difference in winning and loosing. Miss my diary, which is back in India.

The Belgian affair

Wrote this posts while waiting for the connecting flight..uploading it now...

Waiting for the connecting flight to back home from Belgium. The interview went out good (or so I think). Reinforced my feeling that I can be charming if needed. I do not like to answer all the mushy- mushy/stupid/ill-logical questions about how would you cope with sudden breakdown in system; or where do you see yourself after 5-10 years from now.  Or how do you perceive what are your strengths and weeknesses. One of the most sought out topic was how do you feel about shifting your carrear from academics to  corporate world. Man in normal context if someone would have asked me these qestions, I would have really gave piece of my irritated mind to him/her.  However, since this was an interview, and I right now need job, I tried to be anti-me and it seems people like anti-me in professional life. But the problem is I feel a bit low after giving a grand performance of anti-me. Get this feeling that I am doing something wrong. Hope this feeling goes away as soon as I am one of them. One of the other annoying fact was I had been intervied now totally by 8 different persons for a total of 10 times. Seems I have applied for the post of US president. The only good thing about the interview was the hospitality of the company. The total cost of my visit must have been around 1000 euro. Does seem that they value talent (and hereby I declare my-self OFFICALLY talented).  

I have to wait for a week or so before I get result. I am not sure if I will be taking up the job. Have made some calculations, money is good and attractive. However, one of the aspects of real-me seems to be commitment to non-working. And if have to work, work in India. Additionally came to know that the job is not in the main city as I expected and as the advertisement said. But its in one of the smaller town around 20 kms away. After living in the place where I live, the city in belgium and the town where I am suppose to work, did not appeal me much. But lets wait and watch if I am selected and what pay they offer, before thinking about what to do if I am selected.

Makes me feel that as portrayed in most of the sitcoms that I have been watching, I seem to be having fear towards commitment. Although in sitcoms people have fear of commitment towards jobs, I have fear of commitment towards anything-everything. I turned down PhD for it takes commitment of 5 years. Was then desperate to find a job in EU. Now am thinking of not doing so, even before I am selected. Applying some of my knowledge of psychology, this fear seems to be rooted in rejection to my (in the hind-sight very ill timed, ill logical) marriage proposal during my early college days.