Mr. Gentleman

Mr. Gentleman

Couple of my new friends (whom I met after coming here), tell me I am real gentleman. How do I explain them that I am no gentleman, its just that I am too afraid to do the wrong thing! Basically, I am just a coward, being gentleman is just a side-effect, and probably undesirable one!

Winter

Its a long time since I wrote anything. I just got the feedback form some of my friends for the story I wrote. Like I felt, it needs major re-writing.

Anyways, I have got a job for the time being (alas, its in the lab). But that has prevented me to write thesis. By the time I come back home and cook and eat, m too tired to do anything else (except of course, watch series). Watched The Practice, a series based on courtroom. Was nice. Felt some of the storylines/episodes were pathetic attempts to preach authors thinking to masses. Watching Bones now, it is OK for time kill.

Also, the winter is here in full force. It has been snowing like hell. The idea of walking to the college makes me sick. Couple of the pics (Blackberry rocks!!!) I took walking back from college. 

Miss going out with friends and having tea at local shop at 3 in night during cold winter nights. Miss being out of cash during month ends. Miss sitting in hostel canteen for hours, without purpose. Miss being cared for by room-mates. Miss having right to be angry on friends for minor things. Guys, the work life is over-rated. The only good thing is I am earning (well, for the time being atlest). 

After note: The dimples of Tamara Taylor, playing  Dr. Camille Saroyan in The bones are worth looking over and over again. 

Sad

Just got a call from Belgium. Have not been selected for the job. It is hard to digest failure.

After note: After initial shock (I have always thought of me as a SUPERMAN, who does not fail, when he wants to succeed), I have been able injest the news of rejection (still not sure, if ill be able to digest it though). Annoying part was that I already had made it clear about not having any experience with computers applications in initial telephonic interview, and the reason that they gave me for rejection was lack of experience with computer application. Although I do not like to swear usually, this has pushed me on the verge of swearing.

This failure has got the stubborn person out of me. Now its the time to get my boxing pairs out. Its fight. Play hard. Remembering Baxi's words (although later learned similar thing has been said in some movie). Life is like a boxing match. Its not how hard you can hit, but how much you can take makes difference in winning and loosing. Miss my diary, which is back in India.

The Belgian affair

Wrote this posts while waiting for the connecting flight..uploading it now...

Waiting for the connecting flight to back home from Belgium. The interview went out good (or so I think). Reinforced my feeling that I can be charming if needed. I do not like to answer all the mushy- mushy/stupid/ill-logical questions about how would you cope with sudden breakdown in system; or where do you see yourself after 5-10 years from now.  Or how do you perceive what are your strengths and weeknesses. One of the most sought out topic was how do you feel about shifting your carrear from academics to  corporate world. Man in normal context if someone would have asked me these qestions, I would have really gave piece of my irritated mind to him/her.  However, since this was an interview, and I right now need job, I tried to be anti-me and it seems people like anti-me in professional life. But the problem is I feel a bit low after giving a grand performance of anti-me. Get this feeling that I am doing something wrong. Hope this feeling goes away as soon as I am one of them. One of the other annoying fact was I had been intervied now totally by 8 different persons for a total of 10 times. Seems I have applied for the post of US president. The only good thing about the interview was the hospitality of the company. The total cost of my visit must have been around 1000 euro. Does seem that they value talent (and hereby I declare my-self OFFICALLY talented).  

I have to wait for a week or so before I get result. I am not sure if I will be taking up the job. Have made some calculations, money is good and attractive. However, one of the aspects of real-me seems to be commitment to non-working. And if have to work, work in India. Additionally came to know that the job is not in the main city as I expected and as the advertisement said. But its in one of the smaller town around 20 kms away. After living in the place where I live, the city in belgium and the town where I am suppose to work, did not appeal me much. But lets wait and watch if I am selected and what pay they offer, before thinking about what to do if I am selected.

Makes me feel that as portrayed in most of the sitcoms that I have been watching, I seem to be having fear towards commitment. Although in sitcoms people have fear of commitment towards jobs, I have fear of commitment towards anything-everything. I turned down PhD for it takes commitment of 5 years. Was then desperate to find a job in EU. Now am thinking of not doing so, even before I am selected. Applying some of my knowledge of psychology, this fear seems to be rooted in rejection to my (in the hind-sight very ill timed, ill logical) marriage proposal during my early college days.  

Belgium

To the country of Diamonds, chocolates and beer. Off to Belgium tomorrow for an interview.

Afternote: How could have I forgot to mention Hercule Poirot when talking about Belgium. Not acceptable.

Which does not kill me

Nietzsche once said: That which does not kill us makes us stronger. I need to modify it for me for a more relevent context. 

That which does not kill me, makes me lazier. 

Need to do something about it. Have visa for one more month to stay in Europe, need to finish thesis, submit all the reports and give an interview.


Seems like there is a lot on the plate (of the guy who is fasting!!)

My cooking skills

Made some puris after taking some 'tips' from mother. It turned out well. Seems, if I try a bit harder, I can be good cook !!! Its a long way that I have come since India, where only thing I could make was cup of tea :). Happy about it.

Cruise trip

Went for a cruise on last weekend. It was fun. I just realized that looking on endless ocean on all the side is exciting as well as a bit fearful. Want to write more, but now pressed for time, as already lagging behind thesis. Also finally got an interview call in Belgium. What's more, the company is paying for the trip. Hope for a nice trip and a good interview.  Will be traveling there in the second week of september. Seems travel bug has finally hit me :).

After note: I am not a great photographer, but here are some of the pictures that I took. I am just uploading pictures which I took from Ship.

        

It's Raining

I wonder why rain brings out the deepest of emotions. I have always enjoyed rain, be it going out in rain on bike with friends for an ice-cream or just standing on my hostel balcony and observing it (makes me miss hostel days). Its so peaceful and beautiful.  As one of my favorite columnist, Baxi said, there is nothing more enjoyable then sitting on a balcony, listening to music, watch rain fall and drink wine. I have experience that and could not agree less.

Although its raining heavily in Gujarat, the rain where I am right now, is not that frequent. And today it has been raining since night. I love it. Just observing the drizzle hit the glass on the window and creating the beautiful pattern is so so relaxing. Watched the Gene Kelly song Singing in the rain. Have to agree with my friend D, he is quite amazing dancer.

I now have my biological clock completely messed up. I had my dinner today at 6 in the morning today. Hope I am getting closer to the normal human timings that are followed.

Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers - Voltaire