Hangover

Today I woke up with the worst hangover in life. One of the friend has got a job and was leaving today. So we had a party. As always I did not take hard liquor initially and stuck to beer and wine. But later, lost control over what I was drinking and ended up with Vodka. Leading to a fall in bathroom and several other falls which my mind does not remember, but body does. The pain is quite awful. And to add to it, the headache. However the fun at night was a lot, thats what my friends tell me, as I don't remember much after having Vodka.

Last time I drank so much was probably in Jan, 2009. Think this was due. But have again decided not to go with hard liquor again.

After note:
I was thinking why I feel so bad after drinking. Perhaps because I consider my brain as the most important part of me, which I am very proud of; and drinking shows how easy it is for me to loose control over it.

On love

Seeing all the people around me in love, made me think if I was ever going to be in one. Will I ever experience the feeling where I would like to think about nothing but someone special. Will I have a chance to have someone who could make my day brighter, merely by a smile ?

I have liked some girls, but than have been too shy to talk with them. Whom I have talked, have invariably helped me to exhaust any desire to have a life-partner. Many of my friends fell in love with the class mates and are happily married now. I was kind of love-guru in college, putting knowledge from the novels into some usefulness. I know its not difficult to get a girl to like you, if she just knows that you like her and care for her. Girls mind might be most difficult to understand, but they are most simple when comes to love. I too liked couple of girls in college. But could not talk with them.  Moreover I have this idea that making a girl fall in love is not right. Love should just happen. If one has to go through all the rigours of showing it, then perhaps its not actually there. May be I should have been better off dropping that idea and taking the advice which i give to all the friends: just show her that you like her and care for her. She'll be yours forever. 

I have not been able to understand my mind, and to hope to find someone else of opposite sex who could, is  in itself a daunting task. Still, the idea of having someone to talk with is nice, only if the partner is worth talking. Analyzing the persons whom I have been attracted to in past, I wanted to draw a list of minimum things which I expect in the partner, The list reads as follows,

1. Education: I do not have any special requirement for the education, but she has to be intelligent (Only thing I hope is she should be able to understand English). One does not need to be educated for being intelligent and vice-versa.  My idea of love has been mostly associated with a great mind/character, rather than looks/body. 

2. Nature. I could be intolerable sometimes (actually many a times). So she should be able to deal with it (I know thats a lot to ask for). Should be open to joint family.  Alternatively, I too should be able to tolerate her, despite of the things which I would not like about her (I do not believe in perfect person). She should be a worthy friend. Not too religious. 

3. I have always had a feeling that most of the girls have a very good sense of right and wrong. Hope to have that in the special one too, to keep me from doing something wrong.

4. She should have some hobby (I often wonder how people live without hobbies), be that reading, writing, watching movies, tv, dancing or anything. But should have one.

5. Looks. Dont know what to expect. I am no Gregery Peck myself, but would like to have some one with brown/dark skin ( am i being racist ?). I like Kajol and Vidhya Balan over Katrina.

6. Family: Oops..dont know either. Would ideally like to marry a rich princess who is the only daughter. So, that I do not have to work  and can enjoy my non-paying hobbies :P.

Well well, the list turned out to be quite short with not very specific ideas. Perhaps, I am not sure about what I want (just got the thought that i should also make a list of things which I have to offer, but that some other time), but hope when the right person comes along, I have sense to recognise her and courage/ability to make her fall for me. Only thing I hope is I do not select someone not-right for me out of desperation.  I would prefer to be alone for the life, rather then ending up with the wrong person (non-compatible should be the better word).  My friends have often told me that in love, mind and intelligence do not matter. But to me they seem to be the most important part, the only part which I can still love when we are old and physical beauty is no more there. 

I hope to fall in love with some worthy  mind and prove that intelligent-love is not just another oxymoron. 

You are so beautiful....to me..

Liked this song very much. Every time I hear it, I remember Miss M working in my department. She really is preety. The problem is, none of the my friends over here like the song, and none of my colleges in the department agree with me about Miss M.

I liked the voice of Joe Cocker, even though not the most smooth voice. Heard the same song sund by others, but didnt like that much. Loved his gestures with hand while singing too.

No Dr. for my name..

Finally I have replied to the professor and declined the PhD offer. Now what ?

To kill a mocking bird...

Just read on yahoo home page that today is the golden jubilee of the publication of one of my favourite book, To kill a mocking bird, by Harper Lee.

It is set during the civil rights movement in America. The 'Hero' of the book is a lawyer of a small town, Mr. Atticus Finch. Who is a single parent of two children,  Scout and Jem. The story is told by the little girl, Scout.  Atticus is a man of principle and is appointed to defend a black man, who is charged with the molesting of a white woman. Later the book was made in to a movie by the same name, which won Gregory Peck (the original Dev Anand, and one of my fav actors) the Oscar for best actor in lead character (its one of the rare books, whose movie adaptation was equally good, but again, I haven't seen many such movies).

What I liked most about the book was the character of Atticus (I hope to be like him some day!!!). In the entire book, Atticus rarely speaks with anger and never hits anyone. He does not do any stuff which a hero is used to do. But still, his character grows on you, primarily with his conduct. I also liked how the innocent children show maturity as the book progresses. What was also touching to me was how Jem and Scout have their respect for Atticus grow during sort period of time (isnt to be respected and loved by innocence the greatest stamp of success ?) is . It was while reading this book that I realized that in the end, what matters is how the people whom you work with and your family see you.

I remember how much pain I took to find this book. As such, getting a English book was difficult in Gujarat. My college library had only two stacks of english novels, and most of them were in multiple copies, so effectively not many titles. Hence I tried to read this book on computer, which I hated and gave up. I finally found the book in Delhi, when we were on college tour. On seeing this book I was so excited that my friend K. thought I was either too much drunk or gone insane. The bad luck dosent end here. I was reading book while coming back to Gujarat. Even thought we were travelling by college bus, it was similar to state transport vehicle. I had put the book on the upper shelf while talking with friends and someone was trying to see it and it slips through the upper shelf and fell out of window. So, I was left without reading the ending for a long long time. Finally I found a copy of the book in ahemdabad crossword and was able to read it completely. But man, it was worth the wait.

If you are planning to read the book, don't read this paragraph. After reading the book I felt what if Atticus had won the case. Would book have been such a huge success then. Some how i have a feeling that people even though remember the great successes, the great failures are also quite remembered and treasured by them, albeit more dearly.

Mind your language...

I used to watch and enjoy Pankaj Kapoor's Jaban Sambhal ke. Read about the original Mind your language and watched it. Found it hilarious. Should add that this is the one and only sitcom recommended by me that    my friends over here found good (my choice is not considered good, no wonder, I am so nervous right now making choice abt my future). Anyways, here is the link to the first episode on youtube.

I liked the character played by Pakistani guy...

no IDEA

Have no idea where life is headed. I am thinking of responding to my Prof offer of doing PhD. But not sure what to tell him. I would like to say no, but have no no no no no idea, what will I do after that. I feel like a HANGED computer processor, trying to process to much information at a time, and as a result, showing error and not responding.

I had this idea when I was around 19, that by the time I complete college and m done with first couple of years of job, I would have earned so much that I would not have to work any more. The problem is, studying till the age of 27 was not included in the plan. And its difficult to digest things which are stupid.

Also, whenever I call friends in India, I firstly realize I miss them like hell. And secondly, I also realize that I am one of the 3 friends left who haven't got married/engaged. Since I always thought the other two were kind of weird, I find it difficult to enjoy their company. Also, I have concluded that men does require a company of nice women, be it mother, sister, friend or a  girl friend to stay sane. The problem is I am not sure, what nice means to me right now !

Like this song

Since one of my college mate posted this song on facebook, I have been slowly getting addicted to it.