Blocked!

Seems Google has problem with 'virtual' me. It has partially blocked my buzz and G+ profile :(. It sucks, was enjoying the interaction with some nice people!

Mr. Gentleman

Mr. Gentleman

Couple of my new friends (whom I met after coming here), tell me I am real gentleman. How do I explain them that I am no gentleman, its just that I am too afraid to do the wrong thing! Basically, I am just a coward, being gentleman is just a side-effect, and probably undesirable one!

Awesome Weekend

Need to write this down. Last month had problems with visa and was sad. Now on 16th June got call that the visa thing will be sorted out. Then had awesome weekend. Had nice dinners with friends, went to pub with carefree mind. Danced like hell, that too being sober. Got my first kiss :). Got calls from couple of girls (well as a matter of fact from one guy too!) But as I am a nice person, let the calls go. After returning from pub had a nice talk with friends. Found a really big TV in garbage, which is working great. When woke up, had smell of girls perfume all over me :P And today, got a big salary increase, effective august. 

Could this get any better ? Well, I hope so. 

Such innocence

#childhoodmemories is treding on twitter. Reminds me that when I was child, and was watching Hindi movies, the frequent use of 'main teri jaan le lunga' had some effect on me. I thought when we kill some one, we have two lives to live (literally, jaan le li), one ours and one of the person whom we kill (like a second life in video game). Could not imagine any other reason why people would want to kill anyone. Ah, such innocence!

The Crush

So, this crush of mine, she is awesome!

Let's Gloat

I have now surpassed my expectations of me at cooking. Cooked pasta today  differently (and with a bit of imagination) and they turned out to be awesome!

As my mother puts it, my wife is really going to be lucky to have me as a husband :)

Crush(ed)

And I have a new crush! I haven't met the girl, but we have talked on facebook. Our common friends have been pushing us to talk with each-other. After much resistance and overcoming my shyness, I messaged her on orkut and then on facebook.

Can't figure out what I like about her. Perhaps its nothing, perhaps its just our friends pushing us thats making me infatuated! But for sure, she had got some good qualities. She teaches 1-5 grades. Got impression that she is very kind and thinks a lot before saying anything! Most importantly, she is very very well read. Infact she is so well read, that she intimidates me! 

Spit and Drink (!)

Most of the people must have experienced how thinking about past memories can bring out an involountary smile on one's face!!

One such thing happened to me now! I don't know if this is worth sharing to 'elite' world outside. During college days (most of the worth remembering memories are from that time), we bunch of friends would sit in canteen most of the time. We were what people say in India 'Lukkhas', nothing better to do. The rush in canteen after the exam would be akin to the one we find in a fair. Also, we had only 15-20 mins time, as straight after our internal exams in morning, we would have lectures (oh yes, we dont need to read for next day exam. We are born geniuses!). 

This incident happened during our 3rd or 4th sem internals. After the exams we would wait eagerly for getting tea in canteen. As the rush was too much, and we students didn't believe in queuing the end result was chaos. Now one of my friend, too small in size would pass through the maze of people and would invariably get a hand on tea owing to his small size. But the thing did not stop there. As we were back then, intolerant to defeat, we would try to sneak his tea if and when he places it on table. Owing to his small size, he would not be in position to challenge us. 

So he comes up with this brilliant idea of 'spitting' in his tea cup before putting it to rest on table, so that we would not grab from table and drink it!!! This idea, he thought was his way to eternal bliss in canteen! We were dumbstruck. We did not mind drinking someone's 'joothi chai', but to drink tea someone has spitted into was awful to imagine. And so this little friend of ours behaved like a king, drinking his tea peacefully while we all waited for ours. As soon as he got his cup, he would spit in it and then drink it leisurely. He would also challenge us to have a sip from his cup! This continued for almost a week. 

I was annoyed at his public display of triumph. Was not sure what to do and how to deal with it. Now one day, after exam as we were sitting in canteen, he got his cup early, spit into it. Kept it on table. Challeged  us to drink from it. Me, at the spur of moment, took the cup, with everyone on table watching me. Took it near my mouth and voila: spitted in it too. Then challenged my little friend to drink it!!!

I was ecstatic for my solution for weeks to come! Such were the days, simple things were enough to make us happy!

why does every drunk think he is not drunk

On names

Someone called Sanyogita started to follow me on Twitter. I really liked the name. So started thinking of all the beautyful names that I have read in the novels of Ashwini Bhatt (very famous author in Gujarati language). Some of the ones which I like are below:

1. Lajja Sanyal

2. Shailja Sagar

3. Aaska Mandal

4. Sachi Mainak

The first three are the titles of his books too!!

Beauty and Brains

I do not know if this is true, but heard someone say it (probably my father) and it was damm funny. As you might be aware, Mr. George Bernard Shaw, considered one of the most intelligent person in England was not the most handsome of the person. The story goes like this, once in some party a very (I would like to think it would be a very very) pretty lady told Bernard Shaw that perhaps they should get married. Perplexed Shaw asks for the reason and the lady answers, it would be perfect, with me so beautiful and you so intelligent, we would have perfect kids, the ones which are most beautiful and intelligent. Now the response of Shaw is awesome. He says, pardon me lady, I dont think the risk is worth taking, what happens if our kids have my beauty and your intelligence!!! 

The Fountainhead and other things

Cover of The Fountainhead

Finally have got hang of twitter (or so I think). Its nice for some content discovery, chila chalu flirting and knowing what is around. The Indian Political Scene is full of surprises. Just when I thought it cant get bad than this, they surprise me and come up with something more mind-numbing. Self-evaluation and self-respect seems to be words alien to Indian-political personnel. 

As, such, I avoid commenting on things/people untill I feel I have reliable information to make a decision. As such, I hear people scream about things after having few facts, and feel a bit amused. For me, it has been always diffficult to criticize anyone until there is no possibility to avoid it. I mostly try to be happy with/around things/people I like. So, why should be this space any different. Let me talk about something which I liked a lot.

The book (yeah, m not called bookbluff for nothing) is called 'The Fountainhead' and its written by Ayn Rand. Was introduced to it during the last year of under-graduation exam. We had a viva during one of the practical exams. Me and my college crush, were having viva together. The professor who was taking the viva and us 3 shared common passion for reading. The questions during viva drifted from science to literature. One of the questions that our Prof. Dr. Vyas asked us was have we read The Fountainhead. I said no. My crush S said yes ( I still think that is one of the reason she got more mark than me and topped the university). We discussed the book for quite a bit of time. This lead me to buy one and read it. 

The book was amazing. Didn't agree to entire Philosophy of Ayn Rand, but liked parts of it. It describes selfishness as a virtue. The thing I liked most about the book was the character of Howard Roark, the Hero. He was sure of what he wanted to do since childhood Do what you like. Be a master of what you do. Do things you own way. Don't give a damm about what people/world say. (come to think of, I am not the perfect disciple, at 27  yrs and some months, still not sure what I want to do with life). 

The book is sort of a magnifying glass. There are some simple things which are not acceptable in society or considered anti-human. One such is selfishness. What book does is tries to take the things to extreme and shows a society/characters which are self-less and poses it against the ones with selfish and brilliant. 

There is one particular dialogue which I still remember after 4 years. Howard is asked by the anti-hero (forgot his name), what he (Howard) thinks about him. Howard says, but I don't think about you. 

The book was awesome. Its quite a long book, and by the time I completed it, I was under its spell. Tried some of the things mentioned in the book, and was immediately hated by people around me. It was then I realized that how difficult it is to be a minority. One has to drop one's intelligence to the level of majority or become Howard Roark. 

Intoxication

I remember the day when I first lay my hands on Harivanshrai Bachchan's Madhushala. I was having conjunctivitis so missed college and stayed at hostel. Borrowed the book from a friend. Cant tell was it the simple language, the sharp digs at social lacunae, or just the musical nature of his work, I just got addicted to it. Me and my friend from UP had this recitation competition, which went on for days (not that great for my roomies). 

I felt similar intoxication when I read Pablo Neruda. I have only read few of their works, but felt that both write about different things, but somehow their style felt similar (well I am not that great at writing/thinking why I like some things, I just like them). As opposed to  Mr. Bachchan, who writes about social values (especially in Madhusala), I felt Neruda is great in talking about love and pain. Some of the best lines that I like from Madhushala and some random lines from Neruda are below. 

Neruda:

• Love is so short, forgetting is so long. 
• Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
  and these the last verses that I write for her. 
• I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.

From Madhusala

1. मुसलमान औ' हिन्दू है दो, एक, मगर, उनका प्याला,
  एक, मगर, उनका मदिरालय, एक, मगर, उनकी हाला,
  दोनों रहते एक न जब तक मस्जिद मन्दिर में जाते,
  बैर बढ़ाते मस्जिद मन्दिर मेल कराती मधुशाला!

2. मदिरालय जाने को घर से चलता है पीनेवाला,

'    किस पथ से जाऊँ?' असमंजस में है वह भोलाभाला,
     अलग-अलग पथ बतलाते सब पर मैं यह बतलाता हूँ -
       'राह पकड़ तू एक चला चल, पा जाएगा मधुशाला।'

3. एक बरस में, एक बार ही जगती होली की ज्वाला,
    एक बार ही लगती बाज़ी, जलती दीपों की माला,
   दुनियावालों, किन्तु, किसी दिन आ मदिरालय में देखो,   
    दिन को होली, रात दिवाली, रोज़ मनाती मधुशाला।


Tried my hand at writing a poem after writing this post...and i was terrible. Dropped the idea for time being. 

Pather Panchali (Movie)

Satyajit Ray Image via Wikipedia

Wanted to watch this movie since ages. Finally watched it couple of months back. Satyajit Ray has been one of my favourite authors. Practically learned English to read his translations of Feluda and Professor Shonku. A major person responsible for my fascination towards Kolkotta and Bengalis. Anyways, wanted to to see what kind of cinema he created.

I like fast paced movies. Hence, I was a bit bored in the initial part of the movie. While most of the fast paced movies are full of dialogues, Ray uses silence as an important tool to convey moods and feelings, and to me he really seemed very good at doing so. The story is very simple, no 'filmy' dialogues. The artists who play the character are chosen very wisely. Read somewhere how much trouble Ray went through to find right actors for characters.

What stood out for me were 3-4 scenes which made movie really worth watching. One of them was when the child character Apu is being readied to go to school by his mother and sister. The expression at around 10:20 tells it all. NO WORDS NECESSARY. The scene where Durga and Apu chase the sweet selling guy was also brilliant. After watching movie read its review and was very happy to find that both of those scene were specially mentioned.

In conclusion, though I love fast paced movies, this slow poetic movie did leave a lasting impression on me. If I was given a possibility to have dinner with a person across ages, I would choose Ray. Want to watch the remaining two parts of Trilogy, read that Apu trilogy is one of the most famous one in history of cinema, each outclassing the previous one.

Nice one...

Liked this one. Original post here http://www.google.com/profiles/sreenath253#buzz


The large amounts mentioned in the scams have given rise to an idea- new words to refer to large numbers- such as ::


a) Rs 1,00,000 crores= Rs 1 Raja
b) Rs. 10,000 crores = Rs 1 Radia
c) Rs 1,000 crores= Rs 1 Kalmadi

It will be easier to converse and comprehend large numbers. A few examples:

>> Anil Bhai’s home in Pali Hill will cost Rs 4.5 Kalmadi
>> ONGC’s annual output is Rs 1.2 Raja
>> India’s loss in G2/G3 scam is about Rs 1.7 Raja
>> India’s total annual subsidy on Kerosene is Rs 2 Radias
>> Poor Pramod Mahajan left behind only Rs 1.4 Kalmadi


Three cheers for Raja, Radia and Kalmadi !

Winter

Its a long time since I wrote anything. I just got the feedback form some of my friends for the story I wrote. Like I felt, it needs major re-writing.

Anyways, I have got a job for the time being (alas, its in the lab). But that has prevented me to write thesis. By the time I come back home and cook and eat, m too tired to do anything else (except of course, watch series). Watched The Practice, a series based on courtroom. Was nice. Felt some of the storylines/episodes were pathetic attempts to preach authors thinking to masses. Watching Bones now, it is OK for time kill.

Also, the winter is here in full force. It has been snowing like hell. The idea of walking to the college makes me sick. Couple of the pics (Blackberry rocks!!!) I took walking back from college. 

Miss going out with friends and having tea at local shop at 3 in night during cold winter nights. Miss being out of cash during month ends. Miss sitting in hostel canteen for hours, without purpose. Miss being cared for by room-mates. Miss having right to be angry on friends for minor things. Guys, the work life is over-rated. The only good thing is I am earning (well, for the time being atlest). 

After note: The dimples of Tamara Taylor, playing  Dr. Camille Saroyan in The bones are worth looking over and over again. 

A short-sweet story (not mine)

 A couple of my friends are in the middle of (messy) break-ups. Seeing their condition I feel glad that I am not in any of that kind of relationship. I wonder, how can a person be in love and don't know the simple basic (and irritating) stuff about the other guy. Makes me think what they seem to claim love is indeed love.

I read this short story somewhere and it was not credited. Have told it to many friends and most of them have loved it. Increase in the frequency of broken-hearts around me has reminded me of the story and would like to share here. As, I don't have the original story, which I read, I am putting my own imagination to the basic narration that I remember.

There was this guy from a village. His parents had died when he was unable to understand what death was. His grandmother raised him. He turned out to be good at studies. He completed his school and went to a city for attending college. As it often happens, he fell in love with one of his class-mates. And again, as it mostly happens, the girl rejected him. The guy was broken hearted. He did not speak with anyone. He even stopped going to college. He felt dejected. His friends were worried about him. They tried to cheer him up. Taking him to movies, introducing to other girls. But he remained sad. Smile seemed to have ceased to exist for him. His friends thought that perhaps if he moves away from college for a while, it may help. So they pursue him to go to his village and stay with his grand mother for a while.

Well in the village his grand-mother was happy to see him, but started to worry about him seeing him so sad. She asked him many times what was wrong, but he said nothing. Time passed, and one day, suddenly the guy asks his grandmother, 'nani, how much time does it take to forget about the First love', and the grandmother replies, 'beta, how would I know, I am just 70'.

Barkha Dutt and Twitter

I have created an account on Twitter, just to follow the Barkha Dutt controversy, as apparently, there seems no other way to get information on the subject. Could not find anything on regular news sites that I follow. Seems, that the media has decided to go stand by their rotten apples. My impression of NDTV has taken a big set-back. Now wonder, whom should I turn to to get a fair coverage of what is happening. 

I have often thought that people who are in position to mould the opinion of millions have a social responsibility irrespective of their profession. But, I have seen atlest some journalists, who have used their power of Pen, to threaten the system and get an unfair advantage. However, I thought that this rot was restricted to the lower portion of the journalist, and the elites were all Mr./Mrs. Clean. But this controversy has made me think again. Although Ms. Dutt, keeps saying that what she did was just sourcing information, the words used on tapes and tone seem to indicate that there was more than just sourcing. But, lets forget what she was actually doing. I am more disappointed at how the media has avoided to even report it. If it was some politician who was caught on tape, there would have been demands for his resignation from the same people, but now that one of THEM is caught, they don't even feel the need to report it. Apparently, it seems NEWS (north, east, west and south) media, takes it for granted that it is not responsible to report what lies within.

I also wonder, how appropriate it is to give the power to mould the opinion of millions into the hands of these few (corrupt or otherwise) people. 

Thinking: can't live with you, can't live without you

I have been told many a times by my father that I think too much. Put too much of mental effort on every problem. According to him, I am so much afraid of being deceived, that I am not enjoying life per se.

Recently. I have been thinking (haha) that he is right. Like someone said in response to define poison, that excess of anything is poison, I feel right now, too much of thinking is injurious to one's health.

Mr. Advice

My advising gloves were on today. There is this friend of mine, whom I first met on internet and today in person. She is facing a problem with her breakup and I gave some advise and lend an ear for more than hour and got a compliment that perhaps I should seriously take up counselling as a profession :). Made me happy. Especially since my online career counselling thinks that I am no good, except for being a librarian or lab technician (which apparently I am).

Home sweet home...

Just realized that I would do anything to live at 221B Baker Street, London (alas, there is no such place) or at 21 Rajnisen road,Calcutta. The former is the address of Mr. Sherlock Holmes, while the later is the address of Pradosh Mitra aka Feluda.  Both are the famous fictional detectives, whom I adore. Then there is Poirot and Byomkesh, but nothing matches Feluda and Holmes.

Dr. Strangelove

Dr. Strangelove

Based on a book, red aleart, the movie is one of the best that I have watched. Have hearad a lot about Stanley Kubrick, but this is the first time that I have watched one of this movie. To be frank, when I read about the movie, was not much impressed due to it's 'strange' title: Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

This is one of the 'dark comedies' which I watched during the dark one and half month. The entire film is full of sarcasm, but one of the dialogue, which stood out for me most was when USpresident says, 'gentlemen you can't fight in here, this is the war room'. The direction is awesome. But most desirably, the script treatment is one of the best. One of the most memorable scence for me was when the pilot, Mr. Kong, dropping hydrogen bomb on Russia is unable to open the back of plane for dropping the bomb due to system failure. He manually does it. And while the bomb is dropped, he is sticking on to it, as it is being dropped, his face joyus with euphoria. He is happy that he is sacrificing his life for the country. Only if he knew the full context, he would not have been happy. Made me think, only if fools were not ignorant of their foolishness, many disasters would have been avoided. But again, if fools were not ignorant of their foolishness, may be they would not have been fools (except atleast for Duryodhan, whose one quote I seem to have read somewhere, which meant, 'its not that I am not aware that I am not doing the right things, its just that it is not able to do the right thing' or something to that effect).

After watching movie, when I read that Peter Sellers played three roles in the movie, I was really surprised. 

One more quote from the movie:  Mr. President, we must not allow a mineshaft gap! 

The internet

Writing a post after a long long time. Have been not in the best of moods. Have started working AGAIN, after a period of nearly two months of near hibernation. Was unhappy with life, was missing friends, so went into a self imposed, self-protective cocoon. During this time, I have had much to do, but did nothing. Did not write up the thesis, did not went out to travel, did not read much, did not cook anything good, did not do anything fruitful, except watching a high dosage of movies and doing some thinking. Watched around 3-4 movies a day (or watched some series). Must have watched more than 100 movies during this period.

It was during this 'dark period' that I realized the part Internet has played in what I am today. I remember my pre-college days in India. Living in a small city in Gujarat, where people often do not consider art as one of the justifiable profession, I used to go to library and browse the books for hours, listen to my father about what books he liked, try to read news paper reviews to find something worth reading. Also, there were times when I wanted to read a book badly (To kill a mocking bird comes to mind instantly), but could not find it there.

Then comes the early college years. I was kind of black sheep amongst my friends. None of my friends, except one liked reading. Even the one who liked was not a die-hard reader. I was many times made fun of for reading a novel on the day before exam (and this thing got leaked to the girls hostel too...). But all this time, I had to struggle to find out something which I would like. I was like a frog in the well...desperate to look beyond the confines of the well, but hampared by the boundries.

It was then that I discovered internet power beyond regular mails. Tried to google best books of all time, read reviews and thus took a big leap that took me out of the well. Later, I used the same power of internet for movies and music. Found some friends on orkut, who shared my interests. Could discuss books with many. Get their opinions and recommendations. The world made sense now.

I am sure, I am not the only one. I am sure, internet has enlighten many who were seeking the light. It has made me come in contact with movies like Pather Panchali, Witness for the prosecution, The bicycle theives, Casablance, Guess who is coming for dinner; introduced me to fur elise, deepened my love for Yanni. Made my life witty with sitcoms like Frasier and Friends. Introduced me to the world of Manto.

I feel it would be apt if I hereby modify the quote from Casablanca, 'Here's looking at you, Internet'. And I wonder, what all the beautiful things are out there, about whom, I even don't know.

House M.D.

Waiting for House M. D. season 7 to start today. When I read about it on facebook form a friend, was not much impressed by the storyline. A medicine drama sounded kind of weird. However, when I saw the pilot, it was amazing. Loved the character of Dr. House, played by Hugh Laurie. 

The story revolves around a hospital, with Dr. House (inspired by Sherlock Holmes), head of Diagnostic Medicine as the central character. He is genius. Also, he is rude, self-centred and seems to hate everybody. He and his team tries to diagnose the difficult cases. In a way, series was intended to have germs as the villain. 

The dialogues are very good. Some of the House-ism are really wonderful. 

Some examples are:

Ideas are not soda cans. Recycling sucks.

1. No, if you talk to God you're religious. If God talks to you, you're psychotic.

2. Heart disease is kind of below my pay grade

3. Did you not go to college? You go to a bar, you bring your ugly friends.

4. Taub: "Assuming you're right."

• House: "Yes, I find it confusing to assume otherwise."
• 
  
  5. Cameron: "What are you looking for?"
  • House: "Same as you. Love, acceptance, a solid return on investment."
  • 
    
    6. Chase - "We've got an MRI scheduled in twenty minutes. Earliest Foreman could get the machine."
    • House - "I teach you to lie and cheat and steal and the second my back is turned you wait in line!
    • 7. Hey, I can be a jerk to people I haven't slept with. I am that good
    • 8. You can think I'm wrong, but that's no reason to quit thinking
    • 9. Don't blame me, blame my gender
    More could be found here.
    • 
      

Dabang

Just watched Dabang. A hindi movie after a long time. Could not understand all the buzz and money the movie is making. Although i didnt like 3 idiots that much, could not believe Dabang has broken its record. Seems the choice of collective is going from bad to worse.

Sad

Just got a call from Belgium. Have not been selected for the job. It is hard to digest failure.

After note: After initial shock (I have always thought of me as a SUPERMAN, who does not fail, when he wants to succeed), I have been able injest the news of rejection (still not sure, if ill be able to digest it though). Annoying part was that I already had made it clear about not having any experience with computers applications in initial telephonic interview, and the reason that they gave me for rejection was lack of experience with computer application. Although I do not like to swear usually, this has pushed me on the verge of swearing.

This failure has got the stubborn person out of me. Now its the time to get my boxing pairs out. Its fight. Play hard. Remembering Baxi's words (although later learned similar thing has been said in some movie). Life is like a boxing match. Its not how hard you can hit, but how much you can take makes difference in winning and loosing. Miss my diary, which is back in India.

A short story (Still searching for a title)

This was of waiting preiod at the airport leaves me with two things, either start with the analysis of my research data or start with the completing the short-story I have started. As i am anti-working, i choose to continue with the story. Since the story is on my mail account, ill have to probably re-write again. Dont think its good. Also, havent been able to find a suitable title for it.

This time he was sure that this was love. Yes, Mayur Patel was finally in True Love. He had been lead to belive so, previously too. But this time, he was sure that it was different (surprisingly, he had felt the same feeling of ’this’ time being different previosly too). But he now had evidence to prove his love. The shortness of breadh that he felt when she was around was one of the many evidences. He could not sleep now a days. Not even in the lectures (his professors thought this as a sign that he was finally developing an interest in studies). Also, now that he was is college and not school, he considered himself mature enough to recognise the true love from infactuations. Like always, he thought of confiding this to his room-mates, but later decided against it as he felt that they would not belive him ’again’. So what he did was to secretly follow her.

But lets look into what ignited this love. The cupid stuck his blow in the college cafetaria. The first internal exams of his third semester were going on and he was the first to leave the examination hall. He had won the bet again from his frind Chaitanya. During all the mid-term exams, the usual bet was that one who leaves exam hall early wins a free cup of tea from the other person. The grades were not to be taken into account for the competition (after all it was competition of courage not intelligence). As he expected, Chaitanya was the second one to enter the cafeteria, with a mixture of emotions. He was happy that his over-reading last night had paid off and his exam went off well. However, he was more disappointed to have lost the prestigiou free tea competition.

Soon the cafeteria was full and almost all his buddies were there. It was then that Rohan asked who the hell in cafeteria was laughing like Hyena. It was then Mayur realised that what he thought was slow bethoven-’type’ music was indeed sound of some one laughing. To him the sound of that laugh was next to divinity. His friends who were fortunate enought to have girl-friends knew that it was the new girl in the first semester class, named Sachi. He loved the name too, and thought it too was divine (which indead was, Sachi was lord Indra’s wife). She had joined the college late and by not being a hot-smoking beauty, she was not famous in boys hostel, yet.

He felt a bit strange when he saw her. His attraction towrds her only grew when he saw her. He was inheretently shy boy, atlest to girls. She was wearing the long sleeved dress, with a matching dupatta. She was the most preety girl, he thought, that he had ever seen. Her face was shaped like an almond. He could read innocent-intelligence in her eyes. The most striking feature was perhaps her big, round, brown spectacles which covered her big eyes and laid still on her nose. There was something different about her nose, he could not tell what. But he was highly impressed. The hair were tempting enought for him to leave a big home, to live under their shade. Her smile was the most captivating. It had power to bring dead to life.

So, back to present. Now unable to confide in his friends, he took the way that most of the loves take. He started to follow her (stalking is too harsh a word to be used). It seemed she like laughting. Most of the time he was following her, he felt like he was attending the Bethoven opera which was lasting a bit longer then usual, and he was not complaining.  The more he followed her, the more sure he became that he and she cant be together. They were so much diffeerent. He was one of those who was sure that he will fail the exams untill the results came (and strangely, he was right most of  the time), while she had topped the first internal exam, inspite being late to join college. She seemed so much extrovert, while he was one of those unlucky introverts. She was so beautiful and he was so un-handsome (again, ugly is such rougt word). The more he thought of her beauty, more he became aware of his un-handsomeness. Perphas he should become more consious about his appearence. He thought of shaving off his mustache. He only had kept his mustache for this family tradition/religion asked him to keep it. She was so fair, and he so much un-fair (black). He decided to buy some fairing cream for himself. But the worse was that he could not think about any similarites in them. He sometimes took solace thinking, perhaps, opposities do attract.

However, uable to talk with her, discuss about her with friends, he had started looking like the third-carbon copy of Mr. Devdas (You need to have some Indian back ground to underhand this). His apparent appearence did attract the attention of his buddies, which now bugged him to tell them what was bothering him. Was there something wrong back home ? was there any money problem ? Was he worried about his grades (he could laught at the last suggestion). So atlast he gave in. All of them were shocked to learn that he had fallen in love again. They were more shocked as this time even they felt that it was for real. And the apex of their shockness was when they learned that he had fallen for Sachi. Inspite of their shocks, his buddies did what buddies are suppose to do. Offereed all the suggestions that could help him win her heart. Chirag, one of the buddy with connection in girls-hostel, offered to dig all the information he could dig on her by next day. Even better, his friend Niket suggested they go to railway station, and call his girlfriend in hotel and get information now. When Mayur did not object to this, they went to the station and were back after a long angusing wait of two hours. They were back with all the information one needs to employ a prospective employee, including her school grades. Knowing more about her, only made things worst for him. He just thougth about here untill he dosed off to sleep.  

Next day, as usuall, he was following her. But today, there was something different about her. She looked even more beautiful then usual. She even had a different specs, which were bigger then her usual big specs. He was waiting for her outside her class at the time of the 15 minutes break that they got in between lectures. She came out with her usual group of friends. He knew exaclty what they were going to do. Visit the lavatory together like a flock of birds. Then go outside in the college garden and giggle untill the lectures started again. She started walking along with her friends and he started following her. They were on their way to loo­.  They entered female one and he entereed mens toiled. There was some noise outside, perhaps girls from other classes were also n the break.

Usually girls took some time and he would be waiting for them outside. But today when he came out of loo, he found Sachi was already standing there alone. There was a glint in her eyes, like catching a thief. He felt awful, like the time when when he was caught copying form a chit during his economics paper. She smiled, and he felt a bit at ease. She said hi and asked if he was Mayur ? He was astonished to know that she knew his name. She asked she was feeling it a bit difficult to study economics and if he could help her with it. She did not feel like attending the lecture and they could discuss economics in the library. He agreed, amist fear of girls and economics both on his mind. 

They went to library and she sarted talking about all the things except economics. He also relaxed slowly, as he did not have to speak a lot and she had not asked anything about economics. During their talk, she told she liked mustaches.  He wanted to reciprocase the compliment and thought over what to praise in her. Should he praise her vocie, laugh, here sense of simipliciyt in fasion ? he suddenly said he liked her nose. And then the continued to talk. They talked many a times later. Ah, but from the next day after their first meeting, Mayur had started applying oil on his mustache for it to grow well, while Sachi stopped wearing big specs, whcih she used to cover her proportionately big nose. 
True love does make you accept worst of you! 

The Belgian affair

Wrote this posts while waiting for the connecting flight..uploading it now...

Waiting for the connecting flight to back home from Belgium. The interview went out good (or so I think). Reinforced my feeling that I can be charming if needed. I do not like to answer all the mushy- mushy/stupid/ill-logical questions about how would you cope with sudden breakdown in system; or where do you see yourself after 5-10 years from now.  Or how do you perceive what are your strengths and weeknesses. One of the most sought out topic was how do you feel about shifting your carrear from academics to  corporate world. Man in normal context if someone would have asked me these qestions, I would have really gave piece of my irritated mind to him/her.  However, since this was an interview, and I right now need job, I tried to be anti-me and it seems people like anti-me in professional life. But the problem is I feel a bit low after giving a grand performance of anti-me. Get this feeling that I am doing something wrong. Hope this feeling goes away as soon as I am one of them. One of the other annoying fact was I had been intervied now totally by 8 different persons for a total of 10 times. Seems I have applied for the post of US president. The only good thing about the interview was the hospitality of the company. The total cost of my visit must have been around 1000 euro. Does seem that they value talent (and hereby I declare my-self OFFICALLY talented).  

I have to wait for a week or so before I get result. I am not sure if I will be taking up the job. Have made some calculations, money is good and attractive. However, one of the aspects of real-me seems to be commitment to non-working. And if have to work, work in India. Additionally came to know that the job is not in the main city as I expected and as the advertisement said. But its in one of the smaller town around 20 kms away. After living in the place where I live, the city in belgium and the town where I am suppose to work, did not appeal me much. But lets wait and watch if I am selected and what pay they offer, before thinking about what to do if I am selected.

Makes me feel that as portrayed in most of the sitcoms that I have been watching, I seem to be having fear towards commitment. Although in sitcoms people have fear of commitment towards jobs, I have fear of commitment towards anything-everything. I turned down PhD for it takes commitment of 5 years. Was then desperate to find a job in EU. Now am thinking of not doing so, even before I am selected. Applying some of my knowledge of psychology, this fear seems to be rooted in rejection to my (in the hind-sight very ill timed, ill logical) marriage proposal during my early college days.  

Belgium

To the country of Diamonds, chocolates and beer. Off to Belgium tomorrow for an interview.

Afternote: How could have I forgot to mention Hercule Poirot when talking about Belgium. Not acceptable.

Which does not kill me

Nietzsche once said: That which does not kill us makes us stronger. I need to modify it for me for a more relevent context. 

That which does not kill me, makes me lazier. 

Need to do something about it. Have visa for one more month to stay in Europe, need to finish thesis, submit all the reports and give an interview.


Seems like there is a lot on the plate (of the guy who is fasting!!)

Right now

1. Wanted to make a list of 'Things to-do' in life and could not write down a single point (except to travel to Paris, but then it has been dream since I don't remember when). Makes me think if I am too much satisfied with life or too lazy to work for anything in life.

2. Just had a thought would humans would be much better/worse if,

    a) They were immortal and knew about it

    b) Did not have any idea about mortality

3. Thought about Communalism/Socialism/Capitalism, trying to find out which was the best way of governance. Not a fan of communalism, but its a difficult choice between socialism and capitalism. Mind says capitalism, heart says socialism. 

4. Have been thinking a lot about love. Still remains an enigma for me. Have been trying to figure out what it does actually mean ? Does it differ from wife to parents; from bother to friend ? If so, in what way. On the side thought, would it be possible to be in love with a person knowing he/she hates you ?

5.  Thought about secret cyber identities. Why people like to keep their identity secret on web, even if they are not doing/writing any damming stuff. Is there not a secret desire in most of them to get identified ? 

Bored

Feel very much bored and a bit tensed at time moment. Wish there was some intelligent soul to talk with.

My cooking skills

Made some puris after taking some 'tips' from mother. It turned out well. Seems, if I try a bit harder, I can be good cook !!! Its a long way that I have come since India, where only thing I could make was cup of tea :). Happy about it.

Likes-dislikes

I do not like people whose testimonials in orkut is filled with spam pictures telling how sexy/beautiful/smart the person is.

Just realised

I just realised that reading all those suspense novels for years, has made me in-tolerant to secrets. Also, on a completely different subject, made a note that I am prone to fall in love.

Marriages

I was talking with one of the college friend as part of one of my favourite activities (in addition to reading, watching sitcom and thinking) over the weekend. We were in the same class and were not that close friend, and not talked much during the college days. Let me call her MS. She is from UP. Like me she has taken studies a bit too seriously but unlike me, she seemed desperate to find 'a suitable match'. I was quite surprised when she told me to let her know if I know any good 'Gujju' boys, as she wants to settle in Gujarat. More surprised because she had an ample time to find a suitable guy during 4 years of the college life. To add to the fact that she belongs to fair sex, we had a distorted boys to girls ratio in college (70 boys to 10 girls :) :) :) ), the odds were really in her favour then. She even jokingly asked me to marry her, which I thought was very very weird. I have had this kind of proposals couple of times before, where the friend feels it is better to marry someone whom you know rather than marry someone whom they don't know, even if you are not in love with this guy. 

Anyways, the point of writing this is my sister. She too is feeling the blues for not being married 26 and something now. The boys that have been suggested by relatives are mostly dismissed by either my father or cousin brother for a myriad of reasons, most common being, HE WORKS IN SHARE MARKET. This is not unexpected as most gujjus do like cheap money. My sister does not want to settle in Mumbai, and my parents does not want an NRI. so that makes the things more complicated, as basically if one takes people who are not related to stock market, mumbai and foreign from Gujarati people of our religion, what remains is non-rich people. And thats one of the other criteria for rejecting the prospective groom. Last time I talked with the sister, she was so unhappy for all her friends being already married now, that she was seriously considering marrying the next who-so-ever proposal comes her way. 

I have not been too keen on arrange-marriage and its good that my father shares this opinion. Mother also shares the opinion, but with a tag of conditions apply. He/she should be of our caste, should be well-settled, be from a reputible family, etc etc (Its fun to watch her reaction when father tells me it would be ok for him if I wanted to marry some GORI from Europe). But not many parents think so in India, and I have strong dislike for this. (Inspite of the fact that If not for arrange marriages, I think I would be single forever). 

Most of the time parents think that their child, would invariably choose the wrong guy/girl (I know examples of love marriages ending terribly only within a year). I have a theory to justify this. In most of the cases, couples who are said to be in love are just so desperate to have a bf/gf, that they fall for for the first guy/girl who smiles to them. Most of the time, what they love is not their partner, but the idea that they are in love. Invariably, the resultant marriages form this 'love being in love' things end up in disaster. And parents, feel it their duty to stop such a thing to happen. What they forget is mostly two outcomes are possible, either the child will go against their will and marry the lover and thus spoiling the parent-child relationship or will listen to them and marry another 'more suitable' candidate and think what if-he/she married the lover instead, thus depriving her of enjoying the husband-wife relationship. The things get worse when the 'suitable' candidate turns out to be not so suitable. I know a couple who belong to a third category, they were in love, followed their parent's wish, married someone else, and are real happy now, but that is very rare.  

Personally, I would like to make my choice (even if I have to regret it later, at lest that would be my choice), then regretting not having made my choice.

Some gujarati song and couplets

This is one of the song I like and its relatively easy to translate, so, here it goes. Its written by Saif Palanpuri.

આંખોથી લઇશું કામ, હવે બોલવું નથી

રૂપાળું એ એક નામ, હવે બોલવું નથી

યૌવનમાં એક રેશમી સાહસ કર્યું હતું

એવું મળ્યું ઇનામ, હવે બોલવું નથી


પૂછો ના, પ્રીત મોંઘી કે સસ્તી છે દોસ્તો

ચૂકવી દીધા છે દામ, હવે બોલવું નથી

લ્યો સામે પક્ષે ‘સૈફ’ નજર નીચી થઇ ગઇ

શબ્દો હવે હરામ, હવે બોલવું નથી

I will use eyes now, don't want to speak (now),

one golden/beautiful name, don't want to speak

Did one silky (nice) adventure in youth, 

got such a return, don't want to speak (about it)

Don't ask if love is expensive or cheap,

have already paid the price, don't want to speak about it (now)

On the opposite side, eyes are now lowered 

words are now useless, don't want to speak now.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Again not happy with translation, but managed to complete it though.

Liked this couplet by Sunya Palanpuri

પ્રેમ ઇર્ષાથી પર ક્યાંક હોતો નથી, શબ્દથી વાત કેરું વતેસત થશે,

હોઠ સીવીને ચુપચાપ જોયા કરો, મૌન પેદા કરે છે ભરમ કેટલા?

Love is never without envy; if spoken about, it would be blown out-of proportion,
seal the lips and watch, see how many confusions it then creates.

---------------------------------------------------------------
This one by Sunya Palanpuri is equally nice
પરિચય છે મંદિરમાં દેવોને મારો,
અને મસ્જિદોમાં ખુદા ઓળખે છે.
નથી મારું વ્યક્તિત્વ છાનું કોઇથી,
તમારા પ્રતાપે બધા ઓળખે છે.


God in temples is acquainted with me,
and allah in mosque knows me;
(now) my personality is not unknown to anyone,
because of you, everyone knows me.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One of the lines by Sunya that I like
કાંટાની અદાલત બેઠી છે લેવાને જુબાની ફૂલોની.
kanto ki adalat baithi hai, lene ko zubani phoolon ki
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And this one by Mariz is awesome. Ill try to translate it in hindi, which I think should be easier,

હું ક્યાં કહું છું આપની ‘હા’ હોવી જોઈએ,

પણ ના કહો છો એમાં વ્યથા હોવી જોઈએ.

એવી તો બેદિલીથી મને માફ ના કરો,
હું ખુદ કહી ઊઠું કે સજા હોવી જોઈએ.

મેં એનો પ્રેમ ચાહ્યો બહુ સાદી રીતથી,
નહોતી ખબર કે એમાં કલા હોવી જોઈએ.

પૃથ્વીની આ વિશાળતા અમથી નથી ‘મરીઝ’,
એના મિલનની ક્યાંક જગા હોવી જોઈએ.

hum kab kehte hain ke aapki haa honi chahiye,

par na kehto ho usme kuch gum (?) hona chahiye,

hame aise bedile se toh maaf na kijiye,

hum khud keh uthe ke saja honi chahiye

humne unka pyaar chaya sidhi reet se,

pata nahi tha usme bhi, kala (?) honi chahiye,

prithvi ke yeh visalta, aise hi nahi 'mariz',

uske saath milan ki koi, jagah honi chahiye...

Yanni- for all seasons

Just found this. Its festival for ear.

Yanni

Have been a fan of some music by Yanni, ever since I read about him when he performed at Taj Mahal. I used (and still love) his Nostalgia and Santorini most. But, ever since I heard his adaption of Vivaldi's one of the Four Seasons- the summer, into the Storm, the other two songs have taken a second place. Here is the long version, love the violin play which starts in the middle of song (I have wanted to learn play violin every since I read Sherlock Holmes, but alas, my laziness gets better of me). Every time I hear this song, I can literally feel my hair stand up.

Romanticism..

Today is a special day for me. I tried to listen some of the things I like, one of them is a song written by Aadil Mansuri, and sung by Manhar Udhas (I am big fan some of songs sung by him). It is one of the most romantic thing I ever heard. The original song can be found here. 

જ્યારે પ્રણયની જગમાં શરૂઆત થઈ હશે,

ત્યારે પ્રથમ ગઝલની રજૂઆત થઈ હશે.

પહેલા પવનમાં ક્યારે હતી આટલી મહેક,

રસ્તામાં તારી સાથે મુલાકાત થઈ હશે.

ઘૂંઘટ ખુલ્યો હશે ને ઊઘડી હશે સવાર,

ઝુલ્ફો ઢળી હશે ને પછી રાત થઈ હશે.

ઊતરી ગયા છે ફૂલના ચહેરા વસંતમાં,

તારા જ રૂપરંગ વિષે વાત થઈ હશે.

‘આદિલ’ને તે જ દિવસથી મળ્યું દર્દ દોસ્તો,

દુનિયાની જે દિવસથી શરૂઆત થઈ હશે.

Though I truly believe, translation can never capture the essence of original, especially in poetry (combining with my meagre ability to trnaslate), I try to translate it here:

I give up translating. I just found out, if I am looking for a alternate career (which I am), translation is not one for me. Will try to translate the penultimate couplet though, it is one of my fav:

Flowers are looking sad in mid-spring,

there must have been talk of your beauty.

At this point I remember how I once described SS, one of my college crush to a friend when I saw here after a month long college break: she looks like a flower which has been cleansed with the morning dew...then the word spread around in my group that I was officially in LOVE. 

If you dont find the above lines special, the dis-credit goes to translator. Try learning gujarati, and you'll love it :).


This is a special song for me, as with this I was introduced to the world of romanticism in gujarati poetry. One of the thing that I don't like about Gujaratis, is the lack-of-respect/fame/due that they give to the artist. I am sure, if some of them were born in Bengal, they would have been hugely popular. 

Happy birthday Baxibabu..

I think Mr. HS is responsible for me remembering birthdays of all my friends and fav persons. Today is the bday of Chandrakant Baxi, one of my favorite columnist (not so much of his books though) I like his blunt style of writing and his control of language. He is widely read and like the quotations that he used to put at the end of his articles. Sad that he is no more.

Cruise trip

Went for a cruise on last weekend. It was fun. I just realized that looking on endless ocean on all the side is exciting as well as a bit fearful. Want to write more, but now pressed for time, as already lagging behind thesis. Also finally got an interview call in Belgium. What's more, the company is paying for the trip. Hope for a nice trip and a good interview.  Will be traveling there in the second week of september. Seems travel bug has finally hit me :).

After note: I am not a great photographer, but here are some of the pictures that I took. I am just uploading pictures which I took from Ship.